Right, it’s near enough the end of the year for this and I’m going to try and avoid sentimentality because I don’t feel overwhelmingly sentimental.
Let’s start with a summary of 2009. Quick capsule review: piece of shit! End of, by the way. The negatives seem to have far outweighed the positives for me this year and I am getting tired of smiling through my teeth at people that I can’t bear. The people that have made me happy know who they are, as I mentioned them in a blog over the summer. That hasn’t changed.
What is grinding my gears however, is the fact that at present I am incredibly unhappy. I have lost friends in the last few weeks over stupid disputes that in the grand scheme of things, don’t matter one fucking iota. I have been branded a twat for being angry and trying to save things that I care about. It is obviously wrong for me to give a shit, so I will keep myself to myself. Continue with your own agendas, but remember that at some point your friends will turn against you.
If I can avoid getting out of bed, even to eat, I will do so. No, I don’t want to give up my time for you and NO, I don’t care about YOUR life. Well, not at the moment anyway.
At present I’m going through my bi-weekly ‘what is the point of it all?’ phase. There is something of a lack of direction for me at the moment, which hopefully will be gone at around March sort of time.
Right, some aims for 2010:
1. Quit smoking – doubt this is likely.
2. Be more honest about how I feel, so I don’t end up resenting people for things that I haven’t said.
3. Do something big in March.
4. Stop allowing myself to fall into the trap of being dicked around by love interests.
5. In accordance with the above point, find someone that won’t dick me around and isn’t afraid to actually make some sort of commitment. I’m semi-resigned to the idea of loneliness, but I still have some semblance of hope. Why, I cannot say.
6. Finish my degree with AT LEAST a 2:1. And from now on, persistent jibes about my degree will be met with a swift boot. It gets on my fucking tits, so SERIOUSLY, pack the fucker up. I find it rich that people who have fewer hours per week than me put in less time on their courses. It was funny the first few times, but it’s now so very old. Find a new topic, as this one is now staler than Jim Davidson.
7. Hopefully grow back some hair. This alopecia thing is starting to irk me, as I have been on the verge of being thrown out of clubs for wearing a hat. One twat bouncer would not accept that it was in fact a medical condition. Erm, newsflash, bellend: DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD REMOVE EVERY HAIR ON MY FUCKING BODY BY CHOICE? No, you fucking cumstain!
Right, that is my 2010 sorted in seven little targets. I’m not sympathetic to anybody at the moment, but I’m at home, so by the time I return to Bangor, I may be feeling a little more charitable towards my fellow men.
You will fucking see me again.
Until then, bah! Humbug!
Go away.